So yeah, I'm still all pissed at my brother. Only now I feel kind of more calm about it in a sort of weird way. It's not like a burning childish and wild sort of angry anymore, more like an acute smoldering hateness. I don't even know if hateness is a word but I'm using it. If you read my previous entry then you don't really need to read this one because it's basically the same stupid shit only in different context.

So yeah I'm MAD and like not just a little. I mean it's the end of the quarter and I need to get my homework done. I have a project due tomorrow and if I don't turn it in then I will most likely get an F and that would kind of S.U.C.K. because then I'd have to take that class over and I REALLY don't want to do that. FOr me to do that project I need to use the internet so that I can look stuff up and do whatever. So I told him I need the computer. He's on it and is all "Oh but I need it for a project" so I says okay whatever. I mean I know I need it but if he needs it to then sure, go right ahead. I mean if he needs it he needs it. Nothing I can do about that. So I tell him to let me know the moment he's done so I can do my work and he says okay.

I check in on him every hour to see if he's done and he always says "almost". That really ticks me because I know he's lying. I had to tell him 4 times to close the Gaia site because he was playing card games and chatting with who knows who. And even when I came in and saw a slightly informational site on the screen it was always the same exact site at the same exact place. I can even describe the site for you but I won't because that would only get me more mad plus it's boring. So yeah I find him playing games and I ask him what he's doing and well he just stares at me blankly and when I tell him to get off because I need it he doesn't say anything or move. He just stares at me with this stupid idiotic look. AND THEN he tries to fool me by saying he's doing his work when I know for a fact that he's not.

Admittedly I should be doing my project right now and I AM. I have it open, I got the slides I need from my partner, I'm almost done. But I'm so mad right now I don't think I can do it right. It ticks me because I mean I give him some leeway and he goes and takes advantage of it. I mean I let him go for two and a half hours and then I let him go for more and in all he took like 4 and a half hours and he didn't acomplish anything. I could have finished my project 3 times over with that amount of time. I mean I always let him go on enven if it's only for a little but he didn't let me on even once and so now I'm totally loosing trust in him.

I want to yell at him and I hit him because if I don't then I feel like I will start cutting myself and I don't think my friends would be very happpy about that. I care about that kind of stuff you know but seriously, if my brother keeps stressing me like this I just won't be able to take it anymore. I mean I'm trying to be a good sister and keep out of his buisness and stuff. I mean no one wants their sister prying into their life. It's not like I want to pry anyway, it's just that when he lies he's saying that he thinks I'm stupid and blame me if you want but I take offence to that. It doesn't matter that I am older or that I should know better anymore. He is lying to my face, making my grades drop, annoying the hell out of me, and walking all over me when I try to be nice. I mean I SHOULD KNOW BETTER!!! I should know not to let him do this shit to me I should know when to put him back in his place and I should know when to exersize my rights at his older sister!!!!!!!!!